I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize