he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
