I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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