There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
