he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
