he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
