Quick, to the slutcave!
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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