Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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