omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
