weddingsv make me drug and hornr
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
