just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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