I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
