Ambien. No doubt about it.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Randomize
