Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
