it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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