I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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