I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
