I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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