I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize