my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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