I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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