Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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