He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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