Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
