I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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