oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
