I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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