Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
