paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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