You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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