feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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