1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm like, not good at living.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
