did you get engaged???
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize