Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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