This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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