Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
