Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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