Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize