I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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