No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
