I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
