hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
