to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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