My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
