After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
