Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do