Texts From Last Night

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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes

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  (519): I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes http://tfl.nu/mnz7
  Replies (10) Good night (1392) Bad night (2733)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.

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  (850): The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad. http://tfl.nu/dk8u
  Replies (27) Good night (676) Bad night (5278)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake

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  (501): he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake http://tfl.nu/mrvl
  Replies (21) Good night (4343) Bad night (910)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.

  (1-337): View more from Louisiana

  so you admit it was good then??

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  (337): if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600. (1-337): so you admit it was good then?? http://tfl.nu/xl9i
  Replies (27) Good night (8764) Bad night (1109)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless

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  (847): i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless http://tfl.nu/ycxo
  Replies (8) Good night (1073) Bad night (3509)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment

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  (910): oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment http://tfl.nu/2in4
  Replies (7) Good night (3106) Bad night (1322)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.

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  (740): Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake. http://tfl.nu/l7w3
  Replies (6) Good night (766) Bad night (1715)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.

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  (770): She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college. http://tfl.nu/xmfo
  Replies (4) Good night (1807) Bad night (478)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight

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  (785): My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight http://tfl.nu/4v11
  Replies (2) Good night (584) Bad night (533)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.

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  (610): So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house. http://tfl.nu/bt1m
  Replies (16) Good night (1582) Bad night (587)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point

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  (561): I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point http://tfl.nu/m5fj
  Replies (3) Good night (1215) Bad night (353)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home

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  (775): You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home http://tfl.nu/dzie
  Replies (4) Good night (869) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?

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  (405): Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50? http://tfl.nu/w6wp
  Replies (6) Good night (1187) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?

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  (910): Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days? http://tfl.nu/vw91
  Replies (3) Good night (429) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.

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  (925): I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time. http://tfl.nu/8l0a
  Replies (1) Good night (588) Bad night (278)

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