now i know why i became what i already was.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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