Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

dats a huuuuuge bitch!

(773): View more from Illinois

who is this????

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(248): dats a huuuuuge bitch! (773): who is this???? http://tfl.nu/bpgf

Replies (3) Good night (999) Bad night (1047)
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(281): View more from Texas

so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?

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(281): so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad? http://tfl.nu/ttkx

Replies (18) Good night (1269) Bad night (5033)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?

(1-440): View more from Ohio

because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?

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(440): Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it? (1-440): because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even? http://tfl.nu/6ni1

Replies (20) Good night (5351) Bad night (540)
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(480): View more from Arizona

how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?

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(480): how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back? http://tfl.nu/0voi

Replies (35) Good night (810) Bad night (3461)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.

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(303): I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate. http://tfl.nu/1fh9

Replies (23) Good night (1093) Bad night (5376)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.

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(864): its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/4cn9

Replies (2) Good night (1818) Bad night (748)
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(541): View more from Oregon

blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best

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(541): blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best http://tfl.nu/qdc9

Replies (17) Good night (3178) Bad night (899)
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(914): View more from New York

Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.

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(914): Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls. http://tfl.nu/u1ub

Replies (5) Good night (3069) Bad night (603)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin

(774): View more from Massachusetts

He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying

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(774): Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin (774): He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying http://tfl.nu/waxr

Replies (3) Good night (2009) Bad night (543)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.

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(702): Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism. http://tfl.nu/d72k

Replies (1) Good night (1624) Bad night (457)
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(254): View more from Texas

Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.

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(254): Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst. http://tfl.nu/n2od

Replies (9) Good night (1035) Bad night (739)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull

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(651): Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull http://tfl.nu/fvhw

Replies (2) Good night (630) Bad night (1098)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced

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(919): You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced http://tfl.nu/qaoy

Replies (1) Good night (846) Bad night (360)
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(706): View more from Georgia

Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?

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(706): Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit? http://tfl.nu/7qwr

Replies (6) Good night (1187) Bad night (331)
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(527): View more from

I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.

(1-527): View more from

Top night. Top night.

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(527): I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered. (1-527): Top night. Top night. http://tfl.nu/68t6

Replies (1) Good night (425) Bad night (558)

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