Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.