I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
