So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
