hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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