Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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