He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
