i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
