Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
