I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
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I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
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Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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