you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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