Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
