it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
