Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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