i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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