So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
