he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
