Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
